If You Don't Know How to Say Someone's Name, Just Ask

Learning to pronounce a colleague's name correctly is not just a common ... You might say: “I realize I've been saying your name wrong all ... Youhave1freearticlesleftthismonth. Youarereadingyourlastfreearticleforthismonth. Subscribeforunlimitedaccess. Createanaccounttoread2more. Businesscommunication IfYouDon’tKnowHowtoSaySomeone’sName,JustAsk It’ssimple,butithelpscreateacultureofinclusion. by RuchikaTulshyan by RuchikaTulshyan January09,2020 JamesPorter/GettyImages Tweet Post Share Save GetPDF BuyCopies Print Summary.    Learningtopronounceacolleague’snamecorrectlyisnotjustacommoncourtesybutit’sanimportanteffortincreatinganinclusiveworkplace,onethatemphasizespsychologicalsafetyandbelonging.That’swhyit’simportanttogetnamesright.Whenyou’reunfamiliarwithhowtopronouncesomeone’sname,askthemtopronounceit—andactivelylisten.Onceyou’veheardthecorrectpronunciation,thankthepersonandmoveon.Don’tspendalongtimetalkingabouthowunfamiliaryouarewiththeirname.Ifyourealizethatyou’vebeensayingacolleague’snamewrong,apologizeandaskforthecorrectpronunciation.Thenmoveon.Ifyouhearsomeoneelsemispronouncingacolleague’snamewhenthey’renotaround,stepinandcorrectthemgently. Tweet Post Share Save GetPDF BuyCopies Print Leerenespañol Leremportuguês Ihavehadmynamebutcheredmyentirelife—notjustsinceI’velivedintheU.S.overthepasteightyears,butincountrieswhereIworkedallovertheworldincludingmyhomecountryofSingapore.Whileitmademefeelexcludedandawkward,italsospurredmetoinvestigatewhetherhavinganon-Westernnamewouldnegativelyimpactmycareer.Yearsago,IfollowedupwithahiringmanagerinAtlanta,whoadmittedthatthehard-to-pronouncenameonmyresumewasafactorinmenotreceivingacallbackforaninterview. IknowI’mnotalone.ArvindNarayanan,aPrincetoncomputerscienceprofessor, recentlywroteaTwitterthread abouthowhisnamebeingunrecognized—despitehisworkbeinghighlyrecognized—hadtangibleimpactsonhiscareerprogression,includinglosingoutonteachingandjobopportunities,beinginvitedtopresenthiswork,andbeingcitedinpapers. Learningtopronounceacolleague’snamecorrectlyisnotjustacommoncourtesybutit’sanimportanteffortincreatinganinclusiveworkplace,onethatemphasizespsychologicalsafetyandbelonging. Forthosewondering,myfirstnameispronouncedRoo-CHEEK-Ah—phonetically,quitelikehowit’sspelled.ThemostcommonmispronunciationIhearintheWesternworkplaceis“Roo-SHEEK-ah.”Foryears,Iletitslide.Ididn’twanttomakethingsawkwardinaprofessionalsetting,plusIhadreasonedthatitdidn’tmatteranyway.Theworkathandwasmoreimportantthanhowmynamewassaid,Itoldmyself. Unfortunately,itdidstarttoimpactme,fromtheinternalcringeandvisiblewincewhenmynamewasmispronounced,towonderingifmycontributionswerevaluedatallifpeoplecouldn’ttakeamomenttocorrectlylearnmyname.Worstofall,Iagonizedoverhowtocorrectthesituationwhensomeoneintroducedmetoathirdpartywiththewrongpronunciation,andsoon,anentireteamofpeopleweresayingmynameincorrectly. Notenoughresearchhasbeendoneontheeffectofhavingyournamemispronouncedatwork,butthere’sagrowingbodyonhowteachersmispronouncingnamesnegativelyimpactsstudents.A2012studytitled“Teachers,PleaseLearnOurNames!:Racial MicroaggressionsandtheK-12Classrooms”foundthatwhenstudentsofcolorhadtheirnamesmispronouncedintheclassroom,itaffectedtheirsocialemotionalwell-beingandbyextension,harmedtheirabilitytolearn.Thestudyalsoconcludedthatmispronouncingthenamesofstudentsofcolorconstitutedaracialmicroaggressionbecauseitcreatedshameanddisassociationfromtheirculture. Weknowhavinganon-whitenamecannegativelyimpactyourchancesofgettingajobinWesterncountries.Onestudyfoundthatresumeswithwhite-soundingnameswere28%morelikelytogetacallbackforajobinterview.InFrance,resumeswithNorthAfrican-soundingnameswerelesslikelytoreceiveinterviewopportunities. Inanefforttonormalizenon-AngloSaxonnamesinourworkplaces—andbyextension,tocreateworkcultureswhereeveryonefeelsincludedandwelcome—I’vecreatedashortguideforboththepronouncerandthepersonwhosenameismispronounced. Howtopronouncenamescorrectly It’simportanttonotethatinalltheseyearsofhavingmynamemispronounced,it’srarethatsomeoneisbeingdeliberatelyfacetiousbymispronouncingmyname;oftenit’sequallyembarrassingfortheotherperson.Herearesomewaystogetitright. Askthepersontopronounceit—andactivelylisten.Ratherthantrytosayanameyou’reunfamiliarwith,askthepersonhowtopronounceit.It’sawkwardandembarrassingwhenpeopletryto“soldieron”withmynameandspendmoretimetryingtocorrectthemselvesafterwards.Listencarefullytowherethepersonputsemphasis,andwheretheinflectionsare.Repeatafterthemonceortwice,notmore.Ifyouknowyouwillinteractwiththemoften,makeanoteonhowtophoneticallypronouncetheirname(maybeafterwardontheirbusinesscard).Makeanefforttolistenintentlyandaskifyou’resayingitcorrectly;I’vepronouncedmynamecorrectlymultipletimesforpeople,onlytohavethemcommittomemoryamispronouncedversionofit.Ifyoustillstruggle,therearealsoanumberofwebsitesthathavesprunguptohelppeoplepronouncenamescorrectly. Don’tmakeitabigdeal.Onceyou’veheardthecorrectpronunciation,thankthepersonandmoveon.Don’tspendalongtimetalkingabouthowunfamiliaryouarewiththeirname.Ifeelmoreexcludedwhenpeopletrytojustifytheirinabilitytopronounceit(“I’vejustneverheardthatnamebeforeandIdidn’twanttobutcherit.”),whentheylaunchintoalongerconversationaboutmyheritage(“Whereisthatnamefrom?Wheredoyoucomefrom?”)orwhentheytalkabouttheirownawkwardness(“I’msoembarrassedIdidn’tknowhowtopronouncethat.”).Ifsomeonehasanon-AngloSaxonname,chancesarethey’veheardalloftheabovebefore,andwouldrathernotdrawouttheprocessanylongerthannecessary. Observeandpractice.Makeanefforttohearhowsomeonepronouncestheirnametootherpeople,eveniftheyjustpronounceditforyou.Ifyou’reintroducingsomeoneonstageorinanypublicforum,writedownanoteforyourselfonhowtopronounceitcorrectlyandpracticeitinprivate.Ifyoufindthatyou’reintroducingsomeonenewinapublicsetting,asktheminadvance—orasksomeonewhoworkswiththem—howtocorrectlypronouncetheirname.ThememoryofthefirsttimeIreceivedaprofessionalawardwillalwaysbetaintedbyhowtheemceebutcheredmynameastheycalledmeuponstagetoreceiveit.Iwould’vebeendelightedifshehadclarifiedthepronunciationinthe10minuteswewerechattingbeforewewentuponstage. Clarifyagain.Ifyoumeetsomeoneagainafterawhile,it’sfinetosay,“Remindmeofyournameagain,”or,“Remindmehowtopronounceyournameagain,”quitelikeyouwouldifyouhadforgottentheirname.Ialwayspreferclarificationovermispronunciation,especiallyifI’mmeetingsomeoneforthesecondtime. Dosomethingwhenyourealizeyou’vebeenmispronouncingit.Apologizewhenyougetitwrong,assoonasyourealize.Agoodruleofthumbistosay,“I’msorryImispronouncedthat.Couldyoupleaserepeatyournameforme?”Ifyou’veknownsomeoneforawhile,perhapsevenanumberofyears,andyourealizeyou’vebeenmispronouncingtheirname,operatewithhumility.Youmightsay:“IrealizeI’vebeensayingyournamewrongallthistime.I’msosorry.Couldyoupleasesayitforme?”Then,makeanoteandpracticeprivatelyuntilyougetitright. Beanally.Ifyouhearsomeoneelsemispronouncingacolleague’snamewhenthey’renotaround,stepinandcorrectthemgently,“Ithinkit’spronounced…”Thisisespeciallyhelpfulifyournameismorecommon;itcanbeawkwardtoconstantlyhavetointerruptpeople,especiallyifyou’realreadypartofanunderrepresentedminorityintheworkplace. Don’tbearrogantorflippant.I’vehadanumberofinstanceswherepeoplesay,“I’llnevergetitright—canIcallyouanothername?”ortheyrefusetolistenwhenIcorrectthem.ItakeinspirationfromactressUzoAdubahere,whowhenshewantedtochangehernameasachild,wastoldbyhermother:“IftheycanlearntosayTchaikovskyandMichelangeloandDostoyevsky,theycanlearntosayUzoamaka.” Howtorespondwhenpeoplemispronounceyourname Considerhavingaphonetic/memorablepronouncer:WhenIintroducemyself,Ienunciate“Roo-CHEEK-Ah”andhaverecentlystartedputtingmyhandbymycheekandsaying,“likeyourcheek.”IrealizedmanyEnglish-speakersinterpretedmynameas“Roo-SHEEK-ah”evenafterIcorrectlypronouncedit.I’mstillunsurewhytheydothis,butItryandgetaheadoftheerror,sinceit’sthemostcommononeIencounter.IalsohaverecentlyaddedthephoneticpronunciationtomyemailsignatureandTwitterbio.WhenI’mgoingtobeinterviewedonapodcastorvideo,orintroducedatapublicevent,Isendittoorganizersinadvance.I’veevenstartedwritingthephoneticpronunciationonmynametagswhenI’matanetworkingevent. Correctpeople.Iknowit’sawkwardtointerrupt,andeasiertoletitslide,butifyoudoaninternalcringewhenpeoplefrequentlymispronounceyourname,Iurgeyoutogentlycorrectthem.Phrasesthathaveworkedformeinclude,“Greattoseeyouagain.MynameispronouncedRoo-CHEEK-ah,likeyourcheek.”or“Iwantedtoquicklysaythatmynameispronounced…”orI’lljustrepeatmynamecorrectlyafterthey’vemispronouncedit.Oncetheysayitcorrectly,Imoveonquickly.Notonlyisitbetterforyoutohaveyournamepronouncedcorrectly,itwillhopefullyencourageotherstoalsoinsistoncorrectpronunciationaswell. Afterthreedecadesofhavingmynamemispronouncedbyteachers,friends,managers,colleagues,andstrangers,I’verecentlybecomeinsistentonhavingitsaidcorrectly,evenwhenitmeansinterruptingaclientorsomeonemoreseniorthanme.Ialsorespondwiththecorrectspellingwhenpeoplemisspellitbyemail,andifithappensagaintwoorthreetimesafterI’vecorrectedthembyemail,Itypicallystopresponding. Onelastpieceofnuance;thewayIpronouncemyname,anIndiannamederivedfromSanskrit,isactuallydifferentfromthewayit’spronouncedinIndia(whichisRoo-CHICK-ah).GrowingupoutsideofIndia,Iinternalizedadifferentpronunciationofname,butit’sonethat’scomfortableandfamiliartome.SowhenpeopletrytocorrectmypronunciationofthewayIliketobecalled,Ifinditawkwardandoffensive.Ifyourcolleaguepronouncestheirnamedifferentlyfromaversionoftheirnameyou’veheardbefore,respecthowtheyliketobecalled.It’slikethesubtledifferencesbetween“Sara”and“Sarah”—I’veheardpeoplepronouncebothnamesindifferentways. It’salwaysworthnotingandrememberinghowdifferentpeopleprefertheirnamestobesaid,evenifitrequiresmoreeffort.Takingtimetopronouncenamescorrectlyconveysrespectandinclusion,andawillingnesstotreateveryonehowyouwouldliketobetreated. ReadmoreonBusinesscommunication orrelatedtopic Diversityandinclusion RuchikaTulshyanistheauthorofTheDiversityAdvantage:FixingGenderInequalityInTheWorkplace and the forthcomingbookInclusiononPurpose:AnIntersectionalApproachtoCreatingaCultureofBelongingatWork.SheisthefounderofCandour,aninclusionstrategyfirm. Tweet Post Share Save GetPDF BuyCopies Print ReadmoreonBusinesscommunication orrelatedtopic Diversityandinclusion PartnerCenter Diversity Latest Magazine Ascend Topics Podcasts Video Store TheBigIdea Data&Visuals CaseSelections