5 Ways Mental Illness Affects Marriage - His Heart Foundation

But when mental illness enters the picture it's a game changer. A multinational study of mental disorders, marriage and divorce, published in ... Skiptocontent 5WaysMentalIllnessAffectsMarriage 5WaysMentalIllnessAffectsMarriage Inmylastvideowetalkedhowourchild’smentalillnessaffectsourrelationshipwiththem.Soifyoumissedthatvideobesuretocheckitout.Today,I’mexcitedtobebacksharingcontentafteranotbeinginthestudioduetopandemicrestrictions,soIdecidedtogetcreativeandfilmoutsidetostaysafeandstillgetyousomecontent.Oneofthebiggestwaysthatthesetimeshaveimpactedourlivesisinourrelationshipssoit’stimely. Authorandminister,GaryThomaswritesaboutmarriagesaying,“Agoodmarriageisn’tsomethingyoufind;it’ssomethingyoumake.”That’struewhethermentalillnessisapartoftheequationornot.Butwhenmentalillnessentersthepictureit’sagamechanger.Amultinationalstudyofmentaldisorders,marriageanddivorce,publishedin2011foundthatasampleof18mentaldisordersallincreasedthelikelihoodofdivorce—rangingfroma20percentincreasetoan80percentincreaseinthedivorcerate.  Whilethosestatsaresoberingthere’sdefinitelysomethingwecandotoimproveourchancesatsuccess.MyhusbandandIhavebeenfor25years,andabigreasonwhywe’vestayedtogetherisidentifyingtheeffectsofmentalillnessonourmarriageandfindingsolutions.Youdon’thavetostaystuck! 5WaysMentalIllnessAffectsMarriage Isolation: Feelingisolatedisalmostagiven.Lifeisdifferentforusanditfeelslikenoonecanpossiblyunderstand.Thatfeelingcaneasilypullyouintoloneliness,andasenseofbeingseparatefromothers—evenpeoplewholoveyou.Thatputsanevengreaterstressonthemarriagebecauseyouaren’tbuildingacommunityofsupportfordifficulttimes.That’sespeciallytruerightnow. Stigma: Itcancauseyoutofeelashamedofsomethingthatisoutofyourcontrol,andshamecausesyoutohideandwithdraw.Thepersonwiththementalillnessmaywithdrawfromtheirspouse,becausetheyfeellikethey’rethecauseofsomuchupheavalintherelationship.Eitherspousemayfeellikethey’rebeingblamedfortheillness.Stigmamakesaheavyburdenevenmoredifficulttocarry.  Grief: Forthespousewithoutamentalillnesstherecanbegrievingprocessbecausetherelationshipcannolongerbewhatitusedtobe.Therearetimeswherethepersonwithmentalillnessisnotpresentingwithsymptoms,andyouexperienceaglimpseofwhatthingsusedtobelike,onlytothenhaveitdisappearthenextdayorweek. There’salsogriefforthepersonwiththementalillness,processingthediagnoses,thesymptoms,andthestress. OverfunctioningorUnderfunctioning: MurrayBowen,thepsychologistwhodescribesthisdistinction,saysthatthisdynamicthrowsusintoamutuallyreinforcingtrap. Theover-functionersfeelthey’recomingtotherescue,andwillbendoverbackwardstofixanysituationthey’representedwith.It’sallabouttakingaction,andprotectingthemselvesfrombeinghelplessorvulnerable.Theirspousemayreinforcethis“dance”byacquiescingresponsibility.Theunder-functioners,facingacrisisordifficultmaritalsituation,feelanxiousandoverwhelmed.Theywithdraw,step-back,andfeellikefailures.Doingthisallowstheoverfunctionertostepintothesuperherorole.Butatwhatcost? Intimacy: Allofthesechallengeswillaffectyouroverallintimacy.It’sdifficulttofeelclosetoyourspousewhenthey’rewithdrawing,feelingguilty,resentfulorjustplainexhaustedfromallthestress.  Recognizingtheimpactonyourmarriageisimportant,butit’sjustthefirststeptofindingthestrategiesthatwillhelpyourmarriagebecomeastrongsafeplace.  Let’srememberwhattheApostlePaulsaidinEphesians4:2-3 Becompletelyhumbleandgentle;bepatient,bearingwithoneanotherinlove.MakeeveryefforttokeeptheunityoftheSpiritthroughthebondofpeace.Ephesians4:2-3(NIV) Question: Howhasmentalillnessaffectedyourmarriage?Commentbelow,I’dlovetohearfromyou. Anddon’tmissoutonthenextweekvideo:5StrategiestoImproveYourMarriageWhenFacingMentalIllness Abigthankyoucounselors… ChrisWebberley  KristalMathis JulieWatson  DebbieAbrahamson  ForconsultingwithmeonthisvideoandtoHisHeartFoundationforsupportingthischannel.Ifyouwantmorein-depthmentalhealthinformationforyouandthoseyoulovecheckoutmentalhealth.academytoday.  Connecttoresources:  DivorceRateStudy:https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4011132/  Watchthisvideoifyouwanttochangeyourrelationshipdynamics…TheDramaTriangle The7PrincipalsforMakingMarriageWorkbyGottman  TheBiblicalReferenceGuidefortheGottmanMethodbyDavidPenner  StopWalkingonEggshells:TakingYourLifeBackWhenSomeoneYouCareAboutHasBorderlinePersonalityDisorderbyRandiKruger  Connecttoacounselor: CounselorReferral Nomoreconfusionorwonderinghowyou’llfacetherollercoasteroflifewithmentalillness. MentalHealthAcademy isheretotakethemysteryaway,andgiveyoutheknowledgeandthetoolsyouneedtohaverelationshipsthatlast!Thetimeis NOW togetourfirstcourse: Trauma. PleasesubscribeforvideosonourYoutubeChannel forouramazingresources.I’llbesharinggreattipsandencouragementforwhateveryourfacing—whetheryou’refightingmentalillnessorhavealovedonewhois. FirstName Emailaddress: Leavethisfieldemptyifyou'rehuman:FindusonFacebook Searchfor: CategoriesCategories SelectCategory Addiction ADHD Alzheimer’s Anxiety Autism Counseling COVID-19 Crisis Dementia Depression Disorders101 ElderlyCareGiving Grief Marriage Medication MentalHealthAwareness OCD OnlineCourse Parenting Podcast PTSD RealLifeStories Relationships SelfCare SelfHarm Stress Suicide Trauma Treatment Rev.AngelaHoward2020-07-29T14:18:45+00:00July29th,2020|Marriage,MentalHealthAwareness,Relationships| ShareThisStory,ChooseYourPlatform! FacebookTwitterRedditLinkedInPinterestEmail AbouttheAuthor: Rev.AngelaHoward Rev.AngelaHowardistheDirectorofMentalHealthandCommunicationsforHisHeartFoundationandispassionateaboutbreakingthestigmaofmentalillnessamongfellowChristians.Sheisaminister,writer,andspeaker. 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