Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health - Mayo ...

Developing and maintaining healthy friendships involves give-and-take. Sometimes you're the one giving support, and other times you're on the receiving end. COVID-19:Advice,updatesandvaccineoptions Weareopenforsafein-personcare. Learnmore: MayoClinicfactsaboutcoronavirusdisease2019(COVID-19) OurCOVID-19patientandvisitorguidelines,plustrustedhealthinformation Lateston COVID-19vaccination bysite: Arizonapatientvaccinationupdates Arizona, Floridapatientvaccinationupdates Florida, Rochesterpatientvaccinationupdates Rochesterand MayoClinicHealthSystempatientvaccinationupdates MCHS Skiptositenavigation SkiptoContent ThiscontentdoesnothaveanEnglishversion. ThiscontentdoesnothaveanArabicversion. 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Whatarethebenefitsoffriendships? Goodfriendsaregoodforyourhealth.Friendscanhelpyoucelebrategoodtimesandprovidesupportduringbadtimes.Friendspreventlonelinessandgiveyouachancetoofferneededcompanionship,too.Friendscanalso: Increaseyoursenseofbelongingandpurpose Boostyourhappinessandreduceyourstress Improveyourself-confidenceandself-worth Helpyoucopewithtraumas,suchasdivorce,seriousillness,joblossorthedeathofalovedone Encourageyoutochangeoravoidunhealthylifestylehabits,suchasexcessivedrinkingorlackofexercise Friendsalsoplayasignificantroleinpromotingyouroverallhealth.Adultswithstrongsocialsupporthaveareducedriskofmanysignificanthealthproblems,includingdepression,highbloodpressureandanunhealthybodymassindex(BMI).Studieshaveevenfoundthatolderadultswitharichsociallifearelikelytolivelongerthantheirpeerswithfewerconnections. Whyisitsometimeshardtomakefriendsormaintainfriendships? Manyadultsfindithardtodevelopnewfriendshipsorkeepupexistingfriendships.Friendshipsmaytakeabackseattootherpriorities,suchasworkorcaringforchildrenoragingparents.Youandyourfriendsmayhavegrownapartduetochangesinyourlivesorinterests.Ormaybeyou'vemovedtoanewcommunityandhaven'tyetfoundawaytomeetpeople. Developingandmaintaininggoodfriendshipstakeseffort.Theenjoymentandcomfortfriendshipcanprovide,however,makestheinvestmentworthwhile. What'sahealthynumberoffriends? Qualitycountsmorethanquantity.Whileit'sgoodtocultivateadiversenetworkoffriendsandacquaintances,youalsowanttonurtureafewtrulyclosefriendswhowillbethereforyouthroughthickandthin. Whataresomewaystomeetnewpeople? It'spossiblethatyou'veoverlookedpotentialfriendswhoarealreadyinyoursocialnetwork.Thinkthroughpeopleyou'veinteractedwith—evenverycasually—whomadeapositiveimpression. Youmayfindpotentialfriendsamongpeoplewithwhom: You'veworkedortakenclasses You'vebeenfriendsinthepast,buthavesincelosttouch You'veenjoyedchattingwithatsocialgatherings Yousharefamilyties Ifanyonestandsoutinyourmemoryassomeoneyou'dliketoknowbetter,reachout.Askmutualfriendsoracquaintancestosharetheperson'scontactinformation,or—evenbetter—toreintroducethetwoofyouwithatext,emailorin-personvisit.Extendaninvitationtocoffeeorlunch. Tomeetnewpeoplewhomightbecomeyourfriends,youhavetogotoplaceswhereothersaregathered.Don'tlimityourselftoonestrategyformeetingpeople.Thebroaderyourefforts,thegreateryourlikelihoodofsuccess. Persistencealsomatters.Taketheinitiativeratherthanwaitingforinvitationstocomeyourway,andkeeptrying.Youmayneedtosuggestplansafewtimesbeforeyoucantellifyourinterestinanewfriendismutual. Forexample,tryseveraloftheseideas: Attendcommunityevents.Lookforgroupsorclubsthatgatheraroundaninterestorhobbyyoushare.Thesegroupsareoftenlistedinthenewspaperoroncommunitybulletinboards.Therearealsomanywebsitesthathelpyouconnectwithnewfriendsinyourneighborhoodorcity.DoaGooglesearchusingtermssuchas[yourcity]+socialnetwork,or[yourneighborhood]+meet-ups. Volunteer.Offeryourtimeortalentsatahospital,placeofworship,museum,communitycenter,charitablegrouporotherorganization.Youcanformstrongconnectionswhenyouworkwithpeoplewhohavemutualinterests. Extendandacceptinvitations.Inviteafriendtojoinyouforcoffeeorlunch.Whenyou'reinvitedtoasocialgathering,sayyes.Contactsomeonewhorecentlyinvitedyoutoanactivityandreturnthefavor. Takeupanewinterest.Takeacollegeorcommunityeducationcoursetomeetpeoplewhohavesimilarinterests.Joinaclassatalocalgym,seniorcenterorcommunityfitnessfacility. Joinafaithcommunity.Takeadvantageofspecialactivitiesandget-to-know-youeventsfornewmembers. Takeawalk.Grabyourkidsorpetandheadoutside.Chatwithneighborswhoarealsooutandaboutorheadtoapopularparkandstrikeupconversationsthere. Aboveall,staypositive.Youmaynotbecomefriendswitheveryoneyoumeet,butmaintainingafriendlyattitudeanddemeanorcanhelpyouimprovetherelationshipsinyourlifeandsowtheseedsoffriendshipwithnewacquaintances. Howdoessocialmediaaffectfriendships? Joiningachatgrouporonlinecommunitymighthelpyoumakeormaintainconnectionsandrelieveloneliness.However,researchsuggeststhatuseofsocialnetworkingsitesdoesn'tnecessarilytranslatetoalargerofflinenetworkorcloserofflinerelationshipswithnetworkmembers.Inaddition,remembertoexercisecautionwhensharingpersonalinformationorarranginganactivitywithsomeoneyou'veonlymetonline. HowcanInurturemyfriendships? Developingandmaintaininghealthyfriendshipsinvolvesgive-and-take.Sometimesyou'retheonegivingsupport,andothertimesyou'reonthereceivingend.Lettingfriendsknowyoucareaboutthemandappreciatethemcanhelpstrengthenyourbond.It'sasimportantforyoutobeagoodfriendasitistosurroundyourselfwithgoodfriends. Tonurtureyourfriendships: Bekind.Thismost-basicbehavior,emphasizedduringchildhood,remainsthecoreofsuccessful,adultrelationships.Thinkoffriendshipasanemotionalbankaccount.Everyactofkindnessandeveryexpressionofgratitudearedepositsintothisaccount,whilecriticismandnegativitydrawdowntheaccount. Listenup.Askwhat'sgoingoninyourfriends'lives.Lettheotherpersonknowyouarepayingcloseattentionthrougheyecontact,bodylanguageandoccasionalbriefcommentssuchas,"Thatsoundsfun."Whenfriendssharedetailsofhardtimesordifficultexperiences,beempathetic,butdon'tgiveadviceunlessyourfriendsaskforit. Openup.Buildintimacywithyourfriendsbyopeningupaboutyourself.Beingwillingtodisclosepersonalexperiencesandconcernsshowsthatyourfriendholdsaspecialplaceinyourlife,anddeepensyourconnection. Showthatyoucanbetrusted.Beingresponsible,reliableanddependableiskeytoformingstrongfriendships.Keepyourengagementsandarriveontime.Followthroughoncommitmentsyou'vemadetoyourfriends.Whenyourfriendsshareconfidentialinformation,keepitprivate. Makeyourselfavailable.Buildingaclosefriendshiptakestime—together.Makeanefforttoseenewfriendsregularly,andtocheckinwiththeminbetweenmeet-ups.Youmayfeelawkwardthefirstfewtimesyoutalkonthephoneorgettogether,butthisfeelingislikelytopassasyougetmorecomfortablewitheachother. Manageyournerveswithmindfulness.Youmayfindyourselfimaginingtheworstofsocialsituations,andfeeltemptedtostayhome.Usemindfulnessexercisestoreshapeyourthinking.Eachtimeyouimaginetheworst,payattentiontohowoftentheembarrassingsituationsyou'reafraidofactuallytakeplace.Youmaynoticethatthescenariosyoufearusuallydon'thappen. Whenembarrassingsituationsdohappen,remindyourselfthatyourfeelingswillpass,andyoucanhandlethemuntiltheydo. Yogaandothermind-bodyrelaxationpracticesalsomayreduceanxietyandhelpyoufacesituationsthatmakeyoufeelnervous. Remember,it'snevertoolatetobuildnewfriendshipsorreconnectwitholdfriends.Investingtimeinmakingfriendsandstrengtheningyourfriendshipscanpayoffinbetterhealthandabrighteroutlookforyearstocome.   Thereisaproblemwith informationsubmittedforthisrequest.Review/updatethe informationhighlightedbelowandresubmittheform. GetthelatesthealthinformationfromMayoClinic’sexperts. Signupforfree,andstayuptodateonresearchadvancements,healthtipsandcurrenthealthtopics,likeCOVID-19,plusexpertiseonmanaginghealth. Email ErrorEmailfieldisrequired ErrorIncludeavalidemailaddress LearnmoreaboutMayoClinic’suseofdata. Toprovideyouwiththemostrelevantandhelpfulinformation,andunderstandwhich informationisbeneficial,wemaycombineyouremailandwebsiteusageinformationwith otherinformationwehaveaboutyou.IfyouareaMayoClinicpatient,thiscould includeprotectedhealthinformation.Ifwecombinethisinformationwithyourprotected healthinformation,wewilltreatallofthatinformationasprotectedhealth informationandwillonlyuseordisclosethatinformationassetforthinournoticeof privacypractices.Youmayopt-outofemailcommunicationsatanytimebyclickingon theunsubscribelinkinthee-mail. Subscribe! Thankyouforsubscribing OurHousecalle-newsletterwillkeepyouup-to-dateonthelatesthealthinformation. Sorrysomethingwentwrongwithyoursubscription Please,tryagaininacoupleofminutes Retry ShareTweet Aug.24,2019 Showreferences WilsonRE,etal.Personalityandfriendshipsatisfactionindailylife:Doeverydaysocialinteractionsaccountforindividualdifferencesinfriendshipsatisfaction?EuropeanJournalofPersonality.2015;29:173. OngAD,etal.Lonelinessandhealthinolderadults:Amini-reviewandsynthesis.Gerontology2016;62:443. O'ConnellBH,etal.Enhancingsocialrelationshipsthroughpositivepsychologyactivities:Arandomisedcontrolledtrial.TheJournalofPositivePsychology.2016;11:149. YangYC,etal.Socialrelationshipsandphysiologicaldeterminantsoflongevityacrossthehumanlifespan.ProceedingsoftheNationalAcademyofSciences.2016;113:578. Hall-FlavinD(expertopinion).MayoClinic,Rochester,Minn.Sept.9,2016. ThoitsPA.Mechanismslinkingsocialtiesandsupporttophysicalandmentalhealth.JournalofHealthandSocialBehavior.2011;52:145. HalterJB,etal.Preventivegerontology:Strategiesforoptimizinghealthacrossthelifespan.In:Hazzard'sGeriatricMedicineandGerontology.6thed.NewYork,N.Y.:TheMcGraw-HillCompanies;2009.http://www.accessmedicine.com.AccessedSept.14,2016. McCloskeyW,etal.AreFacebook"friends"helpful?DevelopmentofaFacebook-basedmeasureofsocialsupportandexaminationofrelationshipsamongdepression,qualityoflife,andsocialsupport.Cyberpsychology,BehaviorandSocialNetworking.2015;18:499. MacLeodC,MSW.In:TheSocialSkillsGuidebook:ManageShyness,ImproveYourConversations,andMakeFriends,WithoutGivingUpWhoYouAre.IntroductiontotheProcessofMakingFriends.Self-published,2016. RakelD.Anxiety.In:IntegrativeMedicine.3rded.Philadelphia,Pa.:SaundersElsevier;2012.http://www.clinicalkey.com.AccessedSept.14,2016. BystritskyA.Complementaryandalternativetreatmentsforanxietysymptomsanddisorders:Physical,cognitive,andspiritualinterventions.http://www.uptodate.com/home.AccessedSept.14,2016. 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